How well do you know your boyfriend? Most women know more than they think about the small stuff, like his coffee order, and a little less than they think about the big stuff, like what keeps him up at night. This fun couples quiz checks both. Score yourself honestly. Then use our list of 25 questions to ask each other, on a date night, a long drive, or a lazy Sunday on the couch.
The short version
- Knowing his small things is fun. Knowing his big things keeps you close.
- Psychologist John Gottman calls this knowledge a “love map.”
- Love maps go out of date. The fix is to keep asking.
- The best couples quiz is the one you take together.
In this guide
How well do you know your boyfriend? Small things vs. big things
There are two kinds of knowing someone. The first is trivia: his shoe size, his favorite band, how he takes his eggs. It’s fun, and it makes great game material.
The second kind is about his inner life: what he worries about, what he’s proud of, what he hopes for, how he wants to be cared for when things go wrong. This is the part that actually helps you feel close. It’s also the part that tends to slip as life gets busy.
That’s why this quiz mixes both. You might ace his pizza toppings and miss what’s stressing him at work. That’s not a failure. It’s just a nudge toward your next good conversation.
Why knowing his world matters: Gottman’s love maps
Psychologist John Gottman has studied couples for decades. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999), written with Nan Silver, the very first principle is to build your love maps. A love map is the part of your mind where you keep what you know about your partner’s world: his history, his likes and dislikes, his worries, his hopes.
The Gottman Institute describes it as Dr. Gottman’s term for getting to know your partner’s world. The idea is simple: the more you know about each other, the stronger your relationship tends to be. Couples with detailed love maps find it easier to understand each other and to stay steady when life throws something hard at them.
Love maps aren’t one-and-done. People change. A new job, a loss, a move, a new hobby — each one adds roads to the map. Asking good questions is how you keep it up to date.
25 fun questions to ask your boyfriend (and have him ask you)
Turn these into a game: each of you guesses the other’s answer first, then reveals. Start with the silly ones and work your way to the deeper ones.
- What’s your go-to karaoke song?Bonus points if he actually performs it.
- What’s the weirdest food combo you secretly love?Prepare to be either delighted or horrified.
- If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?Easy, and great for planning your next dinner.
- What were you like at 12?Ask for the haircut details.
- What’s the most embarrassing thing you did to impress someone?A guaranteed laugh.
- If you won $10,000 tomorrow, what would you do first?Says a lot about what he values.
- What’s one thing you’re weirdly good at?Everyone has a hidden talent.
- Which fictional character are you most like?Then tell him who you’d pick for him.
- What’s your favorite memory of us so far?You may be surprised what he picks.
- What did you think of me the first time we met?Be ready for an honest answer.
- What’s a small thing I do that you love?Easy to answer, lovely to hear.
- What’s your ideal lazy Sunday?Good for planning, and good for knowing what recharges him.
- Who’s the person who shaped you most growing up?Opens the door to his family story.
- What’s a smell that takes you straight back to childhood?A sneaky way into big memories.
- If you could live in any city for a year, where would it be?Shows what he’s craving — adventure, quiet, sunshine.
- What’s something you changed your mind about in the last few years?Tells you how he’s growing.
- What’s a skill you wish you had?Maybe something to learn together.
- What’s been the hardest part of this year for you?A gentle invitation to talk about real stuff.
- What’s something you’re proud of that you never brag about?Let him have a moment.
- What helps you most when you’re stressed?Useful, and he may not have said it out loud before.
- What’s a dream you’ve never really told anyone?Listen more than you talk.
- What does a great day together look like to you?Then plan one.
- What are you most looking forward to in the next year?Keeps your map current.
- What’s one thing you want us to try together?Couples who try new things have more shared stories.
- How can I show you I love you in a way that really lands?The most useful answer on the list.
If he’s not a big talker, try asking side by side instead of face to face: in the car, on a walk, while cooking. It’s often easier for people to open up when they don’t have to keep eye contact.
Make it a funny couples quiz night
Want to turn this into a proper couples quiz online night? Each of you takes the quiz above about the other, on your own phones. Compare scores. Then go through the questions where you got it wrong and let the other person explain.
Some house rules help keep it fun. No getting mad over a wrong answer. Laughing is allowed. Each wrong guess earns the other person one small favor, like picking the next movie. And no googling his childhood friends.
Sometimes it helps to say the messy, unfiltered version out loud to someone who won’t judge it. That’s Iris — text her like you’d text a close friend, and she’ll help you untangle it. She remembers the thread, so next time you can pick up right where you left off.
Frequently asked questions
How well should you know your boyfriend?
There’s no score you have to hit. Early on, it’s normal to know only the basics. Over time, it helps to know what worries him, what he hopes for and how he likes to be supported. Curiosity matters more than a perfect score.
What are good questions for a couples quiz?
Mix light ones, like his go-to takeout or karaoke song, with deeper ones, like his proudest moment or a dream he hasn’t shared. Guess each other’s answers first, then reveal. The list above has 25 to start with.
What if I didn’t know as much as I thought?
That’s really common and not a bad sign. Life gets busy and people change. Treat it as a fun reason to ask more questions. Most partners love being asked about themselves.
What is a love map?
It’s psychologist John Gottman’s name for everything you know about your partner’s inner world — his history, his worries, his hopes, his likes and dislikes. Building love maps is the first principle in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.
Can we take this quiz together?
Yes. Each of you can take it about the other, then compare answers. It works well as a funny couples quiz for date night, a road trip, or a night in.
Sources
- Gottman & Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — Crown, 1999 (summary via Themantic Education)
- Build Love Maps — The Gottman Institute